My Perfect Seme
by Arachay
Summary: I really don't know how to sum up this insanity. Just a skit with loads of crack, headcanon, chibi Kae-chan, Dr.T & SenRu.


"**My Perfect Seme****"**  
A SenRu (RuSen?) pwp (parody without plot) fanficlet by Arachay  
Reposted with revisions: 08-09-2012

**Series: **Slam Dunk**  
Characters/Pairing: **Inoue-sensei,Akira Sendoh x Kaede Rukawa (SenRu)**  
Genre:** YAOI/BxB, pwp, parody  
**Warnings:** Inoue-sensei being a fangirl and all... if that bothers you, then duh, don't read! ;) Also, this is a tad anti-Sakuragi-ish, if you catch my drift. If you read on and blame me for that later, just means you're either: pretty stupid or... masochistic, AND stupid.  
**Disclaimer:** They aren't mine. Not Takehiko Inoue-sensei, nor my #1 crush Kaede Rukawa-sama, and most certainly not Mr. Michael Jordan. Only this stupid excuse for a fic is. XP

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**Chibi:** (y-a-w-n... stretches... blink-blink)

**Inoue-sama: **(beams proudly) At last, you're awake…

**Chibi: **…ore?

**Inoue-sama: **(smiles) Yes, _you! My most perfect creation… __Kaede Rukawa__!_

**Chibi: **(sparkling all around) _Kae... de... Ruuu… kaa... wa..._? (blush) _Sore wa… ore no namae desu ka?_

**Inoue-sama: **Hai! Do you like it?

**Chibi Rukawa: **Umm… (blush some more) Yes, very much… _arigatou.._.

**Inoue-sama: **(takes out artbooks, sketchpads, comicbook samples) You my boy, will be the lead character in my latest epic manga series! (shows book cover enthusiastically) The world of _Slam Dunk!_

**Chibi Rukawa: **(big blue eyes widen) "_Suu... ramu… dankuu"_?

**Inoue-sama: **Yes! It's all about your soon-to-be favorite sport! Basketball! And you, will be a great— no, the GREATEST rookie player of all!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(looks confused)

**Inoue-sama: **…what's wrong?

**Chibi Rukawa: **Who… is that...? (tiny finger points to the cover of SD#1) He looks creepy...

**Inoue-sama: **Oh. That? Hah! (grins) He's just a diversion! You'll be the real star of my series, but we need someone to make a fool of. (shows many sketches of a silly looking red-head) I want Slam Dunk to be a very wholesome story, so we need a funny character to bumble about and make an utter laughing stock of himself… (grumbles almost to himself) Besides, my stupid editor wants to get the eye of the masses with the stereotypical lead character, one who more people can easily identify with, so... (sighs, puts away sketches then smiles to Chibi Rukawa again) But that's all! You my boy, are the _real star_! And I have no doubt you will shine brightly right through anything!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(looks even more confused) Umm… _chotto wakaranai…_

**Inoue-sama: **(smiles and winks) Don't you worry my little one… everything he does will make you look good! (chuckles) He's just a comic relief! You're my most favorite creation! I've put everything I've got into you! Naturally you'll be the best!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(shyly) _Sou ka_…

**Inoue-sama: **(laughs and takes Chibi Kaede into his lap) _Sou yo!_ The best basketball player in all of Kanagawa!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(starting to get very excited) Hmmm... Just like... like... (sees poster of basketball player dunking) like him? (reads the name) Muhh... Micheal... Johhh... Jordan?

**Inoue-sama: **Oh yes! (laughs) Just like Micheal Jordan! Why, even better! (hugs Chibi Kaede) And you can call me 'otousan'!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(slight blush) 'tou... chan… (thinks) Umm…. 'tochan?

**Inoue-sama: **Hai?

**Chibi Rukawa: **(very shyly) Will… will I be tall? And... uhm... handsome?

**Inoue-sama: **Indubitably my boy! Not only will you be tall, tanned and enviably handsome! You'll also be beautiful!

**Chibi Rukawa:** (nose crinkles in confusion) 'Beautiful'?

**Inoue-sama: **With cool silky-soft ebony colored hair, cool deep blue eyes and irresistibly puckered lips! Which is also cool, mind you! (gets sketchbook and sketches expertly, quickly rendering it with colored markers to produce an amazingly realistic portrait of a future grown-up bishounen Rukawa!) Ah! Of course, you'll also be smart and strong, and naturally very popular! (winks) And did I mention, very, _very cool_!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(eyes twinkling at the sketch) Wow... (suddenly thoughtful)

**Inoue-sama: **…what's the matter?

**Chibi Rukawa: **'Tochan… will… will I be... you know... _loved_?

**Inoue-sama: **Aww… (hugs Chibi Kaede affectionately) Mochiron desu! Everyone will love you! You'll be an all-time favorite! You'll have an entire campus of admirers… I'll even throw in a very special Rukawa Kaede cheering brigade!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(eyes continues to twinkle at this) Hoho...!

**Inoue-sama: **(pulls Chibi Kaede to an eye-to-eye and smiles tenderly) But promise me you won't let all that get into your head okay?

**Chibi Rukawa:** (nods fervently) Promise!

**Inoue-sama: **Oh, you're such a smart one! I knew you were just perfect! (nudges cheeks with his own)

**Chibi Rukawa: **(after the sparkling dies down a bit) Uhm 'tochan… will I have a special someone?

**Inoue-sama: **Hm…? 'A special someone'? A love interest you mean?

**Chibi Rukawa: **(suddenly passionate) Someone… well... like me! Someone who likes basketball too! Someone I can play with and not get bored… someone who is smart, and strong, and tall, and most importantly—! (takes a deep breath) someone _just as beautiful_! And also... (strikes a 'cool guy' pose) very, _very cool_! We have to look good together, ne 'tochan? Ne?!

**Inoue-sama: **... (inwardly impressed)

**Chibi Rukawa: **And… and… (grips father's shirt) He has to like me too! I don't want to be alone…ne? (suddenly shy again) If... it's not asking too much… 'tochan sensei…

**Inoue-sama: **(chuckles, giving Chibi Rukawa a squeeze) Nonsense! Nothing is too much for you my precious boy! I think you'll be pleased that in fact, I may already have the perfect partner for you!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(lights up again) Hontou?!

**Inoue-sama: **Oh hai! Hontou! (starts digging though mess of papers on the desk) There's just one thing though…

**Chibi Rukawa: **_Nyani?_

**Inoue-sama: **(looks Chibi Kaede in the eye) You're perfect someone can only be a "he."

**Chibi Rukawa: **Uh… 'hee'? (brows furrow) What's that?

**Inoue-sama: **A boy! Just like you!

**Chibi Rukawa: **(dumbfounded)

**Inoue-sama: **Ahahaha! (sweatdrops, quickly hiding a stack of _yaoi doujinshis_) Ah yes, well, that's partly my editor's idea too, can't blame him though since it's the 'in' thing nowadays in Japan, never really understood those crazy fangirls, but hey! It's not as odd as you might imagine! Think about it! That person can't really be your equal if he isn't a 'he' like you, right? Girls play basketball fine, but only a boy can match up to you in every way possible! Point for point, dunk for dunk! Endless hours of grueling one-on-ones and challenges! You two can have endless fun together! It's the perfect _seme-uke-seme_ relationship!

**Chibi Ruru: **'Semi, oooh...' ...what?

**Inoue-sama: **_Seme-uke-seme._ It means a perfect equals. Complimenting each other in every way… each other's strengths & weakness… it's a very rare thing two lovers share… very few have it… Ah! (gets up from the pile of papers and sketchbooks. (finally pulls out a full-color sketch on a bristol board and shows it to Chibi Rukawa)

**Chibi Rukawa: **(major blush) He... he looks... beautiful. (at this Inoue smiles proudly) He... he has blue eyes too, like mine… and... he does look... (blushes deeper) very cool. (frowns for a micro-second, muttering) I don't like his hair much though, mine's cooler...

**Inoue-sama: **Hahahaha! See, there, didn't I tell you? I knew you'd like him! He was born last week, and I created him specifically to be your perfect rival!

**Chibi Rukawa: **'Rival'?

**Inoue-sama: **(nods) Of course you'll have a whole string of rivals, but only he'll be your perfect rival!(takes the board and puts it side by side with the sketch of his future self which makes Chibi Rukawa absolutely flushed)

**Chibi Rukawa: **'My perfect rival...'

**Inoue-sama: **Uh-huh! His name... is _Akira Sendoh._

**Chibi Rukawa:** 'Akira... Sendoh'... (quietly staring at the sketches, then blushes) Will he be…? Will he be my… (blush more) Is he mine?

**Inoue-sama: **(gentle smile) Hai.

**Chibi Rukawa: **(still staring) When will I see him?

**Inoue-sama: **Oh, I'm afraid, that's a secret, for now. But all in good time my boy, all in good time!

**Chibi Rukawa: **Akira… Sendoh...

_And we all know that this is not really __**'the end'**__ but just the beginning, of their lovely (and __**very cool**__) love story..._ ;3

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**End Notes:  
- **_**sore wa ore no namae desu ka? **__Is that my name?  
- __**chotto wakaranai... **__I'm not sure I understand...  
- __**sou ka? / sou yo!**__ Is that so? / That's right!  
- __**otousan / 'tochan**__ Father / Father (said with a child's accent)  
- __**mochiron desu! **__Of course!_**  
- **_**hontou?! **__Really?!_**  
- **_**seme & uke **__the one who tops in a yaoi pairing, the more dominant & the one who bottoms, the submissive. (In Japan, and some Asian countries where yaoi first became popular, it makes a difference who's name you put first in a yaoi pairing. It indicates who is the 'seme' & 'uke', which doesn't mean the one who bottoms is weak or acting as the female. It simply means the seme is the one who makes the first moves or does most of the pursuing. :D Putting their names as seme-uke-seme, like SenRuSen, just means that they are flexible, equal and interchangeable. ;P  
- __**nyani?**__ also 'nani' just cute-sified XD  
- __**bishounen**__ beautiful teenage boy  
- __**yaoi doujinshi**__ fan-made yaoi comics_

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If you're forever an insane true blue SenRuSen fan girl like me, please support existing die-hard SenRuSen groups. Search for **TrueBlueSenRu** on **deviantART** and **SenRu Only & SenRu-PH** on **Facebook**. If there are any more SenRu groups you know about, please let me know. :3 *bows* Arigatou gozaimsu!


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